This lack of freedom is draining me. I sometimes feel everyday here...I lose a part of myself. Monotonous, robotic...so far out of my comfort zone. In four months the opportunity to travel will abound, the road will again be mine, I will regain my femininity. I will be able to wander ALONE. I feel myself rebeling against the system. I feel the captivity driving me to make stupid mistakes. I rode the wrong road, full speed ahead...Funny how falling feels like flying. As I crashed, I felt alive again. The isolation, the fight, the knowledge of self. I will get through this. I have to. Letting go of the road was worse than any breakup. Even though it's only temporary...I am empty without it.
The desert...how I love you. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...words couldn't be more true. Desert, you are my home. It took me abandoning you in search of great adventure that ended up being far from great to realize that you are the true adventure. You are real. You are life.